Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

[Outside Bag End, Gandalf stops his cart.]

Gandalf: "Whoa, whoa."

[He gets down and goes through the gate which bears a sign saying: 'No admittance except on party business.']

[Gandalf knocks on the door with his staff.]

Bilbo: "No thank you! We don't want any more visitors, well-wishers or distant relations!"

Gandalf: "And what about very old friends?"

[Bilbo opens the door.]

Bilbo (amazed): "Gandalf?"

Gandalf: "Bilbo Baggins!"

Bilbo: "My dear Gandalf!" [gives Gandalf a hug]

Gandalf: "Good to see you! One hundred and eleven years old — who would believe it? You haven't aged a day."

[Bilbo and Gandalf laugh as Bilbo bids Gandalf inside.]

Bilbo: "Come on, come in! Welcome, welcome! Oh, here we are."

Bilbo: "Tea? Or maybe something a little stronger?"

Bilbo: "I've got a few bottles of the Old Winyard left. Twelve ninety-six — very good year. Almost as old as I am! Hahaha!"

[Bilbo hangs up Gandalf's hat and disappears down the corridor on his hunt for refreshments.]

Bilbo: "It was laid down by my father. What say we open one, eh?"

Gandalf: "Just tea, thank you."

[Gandalf, bent double, backs into the chandelier. He steadies it, but then bumps his head onto the beam and utters an "Ooooff".]

[Nursing the pain he enters Bilbo's study and sees the map of the Lonely Mountain mounted on a frame. He picks it up to examine it.]

[Meanwhile, Bilbo is pottering around in the kitchen.]

Bilbo: "I was expecting you sometime last week! Not that it matters, you come and go as you please. Always have done and always will. You caught me a bit unprepared, I'm afraid. We've only got cold chicken and a bit of pickle… Oh, there's some cheese here — oh no, that won't do. Err, we got raspberry jam and an apple tart… Not much for afters, I'm afraid. Oh, no — we're all right! I've found some sponge-cake. I could make you some eggs if you like — oh. Gandalf?"

Gandalf: "Just tea, thank you."

Bilbo: "Oh, right!" [with mouthful of sponge-cake] "You don't mind if I eat, do you?"

Gandalf: "Oh no, not at all."

[Gandalf sits down on a chair just inside the kitchen entrance. There is a knocking on the door and a woman shouting: "Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins!"]

Bilbo: [whispers] "I'm not at home!"

[He tiptoes up to the front window and peers out to identify the unwanted visitor.]

Bilbo: "It's the Sackville-Bagginses!"

Sackville-Baggins (outside): "I know you're in there!"

Bilbo: "They're after the house. They've never forgiven me for living this long!"

[Still with his sponge-cake, Bilbo disappears into the kitchen.]

Bilbo: "I've got to get away from these confounded relatives hanging on the bell all day, never giving me a moment's peace!"

[Bilbo puts down his cake and stares out his window while Gandalf tries to make himself comfortable at Bilbo's hobbit-sized table.]

Bilbo: "I want to see mountains again, mountains Gandalf! And then find somewhere quiet where I can finish my book. Oh, tea!" (He hurries to prepare the tea.)

Gandalf: "So, you mean to go through with your plan, then."

Bilbo: "Yes, yes. It's all in hand. All the arrangements are made."

[Gandalf lifts up the lid of a tea pot, Bilbo starts to pour water into it.]

Bilbo: "Oh, thank you."

Gandalf: "Frodo suspects something."

Bilbo: "'Course he does. He's a Baggins! Not some block-headed Bracegirdle from Hardbottle."

Gandalf: "You will tell him, won't you?"

Bilbo: "Yes, yes."

Gandalf: "He's very fond of you."

Bilbo: "I know. He'd probably come with me if I asked him." (chuckles) "I think, in his heart, Frodo's still in love with the Shire: the woods, the fields… little rivers."

Bilbo: "I'm old, Gandalf. I know I don't look it, but I'm beginning to feel it in my heart."

[Gandalf's gaze is drawn downwards to Bilbo's waistcoat pocket as the Hobbit's fingers begins to fidget with something inside it.]

[Gandalf frowns.]

Bilbo: "I feel thin — sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread."

[Bilbo sits down wearily at the table.]

Bilbo: "I need a holiday — a very long holiday — and I don't expect I shall return. In fact, I mean not to!"

[Evening falls on Hobbiton. Bilbo and Gandalf sit peacefully smoking pipe outside Bag End. Below them, in the party field, sounds of laughter and revelry float up from a growing crowd of Hobbits preparing for their evening's entertainment. Torches and candles light a festive scene and everywhere food is rapidly filling up the space on wooden trestles.]

Bilbo: "Old Toby. The finest weed in the Southfarthing."

[Bilbo blows a large ring of smoke which hangs gently in the still air. Gandalf sucks his cheeks in and out, blows a majestic, full-rigged ship that he blows through the ring.]

Bilbo: "Ahh! Gandalf, my old friend. This will be a night to remember!"